Rings

"Rings"
a story for Carlos, by Jake Kilroy

Based off of a Facebook comment from Carlos:
"Requesting you write a short story about life on Earth with rings!" - Carlos, with this link.

The rings wrapped the sky like a neon ribbon and shattered the colors of the sunset. Carlos and Jake sat on top of the barn with several empty beer cans between them and their legs dangling. Carlos leaned forward and spit, wiping the foam from his mustache. Jake nearly dozed off.

"What do you think it'd be like without the rings?" Carlos asked.

"Boring," Jake answered, rubbing his eyes. "I mean, what would be left? Empty space and a few stars?"

"Well, we'd see more stars."

"We would?"

"Yeah. Without the rings, there'd be less light in the way, and the sky would look like a diamond quarry, I assume."

"Sunsets would be flat."

"Probably true," Carlos agreed, "but the only light pollution would be from buildings."

"And streetlights. And headlights. And those swirly lights at movie premieres."

"Searchlights?"

"Ah, that's what they're called," Jake said with a snap. "Wait, that doesn't make sense. They're facing the sky. What are they searching for?"

"I don't know. God?"

"The only god you'll find at a movie premiere is the god of fake boobs and fur."

"That's real deep, Jake."

"Would God love or hate movie premieres?"

"He'd probably have mixed emotions," Carlos explained, considering another sip.

"God has emotions?"

"Well, he's capable of wrath, right?"

"Yeah," Jake mumbled with a squint.

"And he's capable of pride."

"Right, but not gluttony, since he can't eat."

"Gluttony isn't an emotion. It's a sin."

"So is pride and wrath."

"Good point," Carlos agreed.

"Is haircuts one of the seven deadly sins?"

"Ok, I think you've had enough to drink."

"Which would be sloth."

"The guy from The Goonies?"

"Now who's had enough to drink?

"How are we going to get down?"

"Hey, do you think you could slide down the rings?" Jake asked, pointing up.

"I doubt it. They're just jagged ice and rocks."

"They are?"

"Man, your high school science teacher should be put in front of a firing squad."

"You're an enemy of science, Los."

"I'm the one explaining the rings!"

"Los of the Rings."

"Ok, well, that was lazy."

"I kind of wish we could see the sky without them."

"We probably wouldn't know what to do with all those stars."

"I don't even know what to do with the rings."

"Maybe we should just leave the sky alone."

"Sounds good."

And so the two men toasted the sky, clinked their beers, and went on arguing about Tim Duncan.