"if truth was here and now and not forever"

"if truth was here and now and not forever"
written after the last weekend of wonder by jake kilroy.

glory never loves those who don't give everything they have.
splintered hands, knuckled heads, all the leg work exhausted;
we are youth, even in old age.

walls of scripture pages, crosses on every lamp,
sheets that covered the pews of empty churches
now clinging to every bed at night on solstice,
here we are in the house we grew up in,
haunted by what might have never been there.

fists through the glass, fingers in the dirt,
i couldn't swallow my pride for that last meal.
jesus christ wouldn't know what to beg for these days.

and here all we wanted was reverb shaking the local jails
that hold the bands of folksingers we worshipped,
years ago when we thought god had built man
and not vice versa.

so give me false idols that'll actually talk back.
hold up the flames of these burial candles,
because this concert won't have an encore.
mass population, mass media,
mass words we can't speak,
ever since our tongues were tied
when we were speaking in them.

this is the tension of ghosts,
dragging blood through us,
carving muscles from memory,
unable to spill their guts
or tell the difference
between wishes and hopes.
dreams are another plague,
one without cure or ailment.

can we even speak truth anymore
without our eyes filling with salt?
goddamnit.
goddamnit.
goddamnit.
stop repeating yourself.