"an ojai kiss"

"an ojai kiss"
after a nerve crawl at a wedding by jake kilroy.

out in the empty beauty of ojai,
i farmed my heart at a wedding
where half the guests were guitars.

storm clouds rolled in worse than the drunks
and i felt youth leave me that night,
somehow feeling heavier under a brittle moon.
maybe i was finally noticing the new burdens
that come with shaky hands and a shakier future.

i thought my nerves would be steel by the time
i was asked by the world to do something,
to be something, to give a damn
about what my mirror thought of me.

but in the barn, on the dance floor,
swinging my seventh glass of wine,
much like the mistress i should've brought,
the one i left back home,
because i didn't want to kiss her too right
after sneaking into the olive trees
because i had seen too many movies growing up.
so i wondered about the moonlight
and how it didn't hang right.