Monday, November 9, 2015
2009 - Includes "wish" and "hope," two words that belong to birthdays, dating, and bad nights of miserable drinking more than the holiday season.
2010 - Includes the phrase "stories are gifts." Christmas doesn't own the idea of gifts or stories. In fact, 28% of U.S. citizens think Bible stories are technically journalistic pieces anyway.
2011 - Includes dog riding person as a sled. Is this in the Bible? Legitimately don't know. Only really know enough to argue with people about things that shouldn't matter.
2012 - Includes winking snowman. Possibly erotic intentions, possibly pansexual. Not sure how snowpeople work. Pretty sure they're not prophets.
2013 - Includes ornaments. Fine, that's Christmas-related, since it goes on a Christmas tree, but if we're talkin' secular here, that's just some dope tree jewelry.
2014 - Includes...I don't know, bows? Snowflakes? Not really sure, but totally confident that no religion owns winter or sassy dolled-up handouts.
2015 - Reflects popular return to flat design. Keeps bold color palette, loses busy iconography. Some batshit former pastor decides he wants attention and fails to realize that Starbucks has more or less been moving toward simpler design.
Anyway, the phrase "War on Christmas" is dumb, the idea of "War on Christmas" is stupid, and Christmas exists because of a war on pagans' winter solstice back in the 4th Century.