Jake & The Bookseller

I was at Borders with my buddy Cameron last night, purchasing The Book Thief (a 552-page book I need to start and finish in 10 days for a book club at work) and two Batman graphic novels (because justice never sleeps).

BOOKSELLER: Ok, that'll be $49.87. Would you like to donate a children's book to orphans today?

JAKE: Yeah, for sure.

CAMERON: Really?

JAKE: Yeah, dude. If I don't make these kids read, who will?

BOOKSELLER: Which one would you like?

CAMERON: Give them one of those.

JAKE: Whoa. Catcher In The Rye? Their little heads would probably explode.

BOOKSELLER: Oh, sorry. Not these ones. These ones over here.

JAKE: Oh, I'll take Where The Sidewalk Ends.

BOOKSELLER: Ok, that one is...$18.99.

CAMERON: Fuck...that.

JAKE: Ah...that is kind of a lot.

CAMERON: What about that one?

JAKE: Cloud With A Chance Of Meatballs? It's not the same thing as the movie. Did you ever see that?

CAMERON: No, was it good?

JAKE: Yeah, it was actually pretty awesome.

CAMERON: Get them Snow.

JAKE: I've never read it.

CAMERON: You don't have to read it. You just have to donate it.

JAKE: Yeah, but I want to give them something I've read and loved. Oh, wait. I can give them Are You My Mother? I'll take that one!

BOOKSELLER: Where do you see that?

CAMERON: Right there. Are You My Mother? by P.D. Eastman.

BOOKSELLER: Ok, I need to put this back on the shelf. This one isn't for donation.

CAMERON: It isn't?

BOOKSELLER: I don't know how that ended up there, but we'd prefer that one not be donated, since, you know, they're...orphans.

JAKE: Oh shit, I wasn't even thinking. Well, I feel like shit now, so I'll just take Shel Silverstein.

CAMERON: Really? But it's the most expensive one.

JAKE: Yeah, but I insulted the orphans. Actually, I forgot they were orphans. I thought they were homeless for some reason. Plus, it's Shel Silverstein

CAMERON: Never read him.

JAKE: You should. He's awesome.

CAMERON: I've only read one book and it was the one you bought me.

BOOKSELLER: What book was it?

CAMERON: Uh...what was the name of it?

JAKE: Breakfast of Champions.

CAMERON: That's right!

BOOKSELLER: Oh, good choice.

CAMERON: Yeah, I told this guy that I don't really read, so he bought me that book. I liked it. It wasn't boring...unlike The Great Gatsby.

BOOKSELLER: I love that book.

CAMERON: Really?

BOOKSELLER: Maybe it's a girl thing.

JAKE: It's one of my favorites.

BOOKSELLER: Oh...

CAMERON: Of course it is, ya gay.