My Dad Doesn't Think Very Much Of Orlando

My Dad was in Orlando for his magazine's annual trade show. Here was the the opening paragraph of his e-mail:

I write to you far away in that dreaded land of Orlando where mullet jokes aren't funny and a full set of teeth is rare as a smile on a gator. It's the kind of place that Californians call weird. I'm pretty sure there are swamp guys here that smoke and chew tobacco at the same time. And there's girls who think that's sexy.