"fucking disgustingly happy"

"fucking disgustingly happy"
filled to the brim with tequila by jake kilroy.

give me the wood pirates and flower boats.
give me the holy grail,
filled with the blood of our youth.
smear it across my mouth like a clown grin.
put me in a tuxedo.
tell me where the parade is.
let me buy you a loft.
let me read you poems by bly.
let me cook you breakfast sandwiches
and get it all wrong.

let me whisk you away
to the same fields
you grew up battled on.

let me burn those bridges
of friends that forget your birthday
every single year.

let me mouth off to the men
who told you'd look good
if you were someone else.

let me write christmas cards
and hide plastic eggs
for your nieces and nephews.

let me build us a house
from the trees that cracked
in your favorite lightning storm.

darling, i may have soft hands,
but i can use them to fix cars,
repair sinks, hold candles,
stir pasta, wash windows,
cup water, drape over you.

i see us laughing until
we're gasping for air
and begging each other
to stop telling jokes
because the sun
will soon be up.

i want this room awash in lights
from lanterns we bought at a garage sale.
i want this bed as full as our hearts
and i want to keep wanting.

i'll stop writing songs for sailors.
i'll stop stumbling home from bars.
i'll stop jumping into moving cars.
i'll stop asking for more than this.

just give me your new year
and i'll give you my christmas
and all that will be left is
birthdays and dinner parties.
we'll be all dressed up
and everywhere to go.
i'll be the most reckless gentleman
you ever made promises to.
i'll be daper and dangerous,
like a classic movie rogue,
swerving on roads
and endlessly tongue-in-cheek.

one smile, one wink,
one nod, one last dance.
all black and white.
making everyone miserable.
hopelessly in love.
fucking disgustingly happy.